LANGUAGE

Even though the language of Great Britain is English, there are a lot of words that you will find are different, or have new meanings. Here is a partial list of some words:

Anorak............................Parka/Jacket

Aubergine.......................Eggplant

Bangers and Mash............Sausages and Mashed Potato

Bap................................Hamburger Bun

Bobby/Bill/Old Bill............Policeman

Boozer............................Pub

Borough..........................Council/District

Brill................................Brilliant/Excellent

Brummie.........................Someone from Birmingham

Cellotape........................Sticky Tape

Cheers............................Thank you or Goodbye

Chips..............................French fries

Chip Butty.......................Hot Chip Sandwich

Choc Ice..........................Chocolate Coated vanilla ice cream bar

Civil Servant.....................Public Servant

Common/Green.................Park

Courgette.........................Zucchini

Crisps..............................Potato chips

Daft................................Silly

Deposit............................Bond

Dosh................................Money/Cash

Durex...............................Brand of condoms

Duvet...............................Bedspread or Doona

Flat..................................Apartment

Flip Flops..........................Thongs or Sandals

Football............................Soccer

Gaff/Digs..........................Somewhere to Live

Git...................................Jerk

Geordie............................Someone from Newcastle

Grafter.............................Hard worker

Guv/Guv'nor......................Manager/landlord of a pub

Half Ten............................10:30 am/pm

Ices..................................Ice creams

Iced Lolly..........................Popsicle/Icypole/Polarboy

Knackered.........................Tired

Lager/Bitter/Stout..............Beer/Ale

Lift...................................Escalator or Elevator

Loo..................................Bathroom/Toilet

Motorway.........................Freeway/Highway

Naff.................................Uncool

Off-licence/Offie...............Bottle shop or Liquor Store

Oxfam.............................Thrift store/used clothing shop

Plaster.............................Band Aid

Plonker............................Idiot

Pratt................................Jerk

Push Chair.......................Pram or Stroller

Quid................................Pound £

Rock...............................Long stick of candy

Rubber............................Condom

Rucksack.........................Backpack

Scouser...........................Someone from Liverpool

Shag...............................To have sex

Sod Off...........................Get Lost

Spiffing (Good Time)........Great time

Spotted Dick...................Cake with Fruit

Sweets...........................Candy

Tights.............................Pantyhose

Tosser............................Loser

About English Language ( Just for the fun of it, enjoy!!):

By Richard Lederer ( It is a portion of the introduction to my book CRAZY ENGLISH (Pocket Books, 1989) and has been widely distributed on the Net)

Please feel free to see the entire essay in the archives section of my website, Richard Lederer's Verbivore at http://www.pobox.com/~verbivore

1. I , Richard Lederer authorize studios92.com to use the essay below for their www visitors.

* Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

* English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

* We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

* And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

* Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

* If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

* Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

* How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another.

* Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?

* Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

* You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

* English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race .That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

EuroEnglish

The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government concluded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five year phased plan for what will be known as 'EuroEnglish'. In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" sound will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to arrive at the stage where more komplikated revisions are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, that have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar revisions vud of kors beaplid to ozer kombinations of leters.